


Candy Crush

by tothineownelfbetrue



Category: Disenchantment (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dancing, Dating, Denial of Feelings, Dysfunctional Relationships, Elfo is oblivious, F/M, Feelings Realization, Jealousy, Kissy gets stuck playing therapist, Kissy hates playing second fiddle, Kissy likes bad boys, Luci and Elfo dance, Luci angsts a lot, Luci goads Elfo, Luci is a little cat-shaped blob of shadows and spite, Luci talks a lot, M/M, Panic Attacks, Pining, Self-Esteem Issues, breaking up, no beta we die like men, spiteful Luci, trust excercises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26372191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tothineownelfbetrue/pseuds/tothineownelfbetrue
Summary: Sure Luci starts dating Kissy because he wants to rub it in Elfo's face, but after going out with her, he starts to wonder if there's more to what he's feeling.  Navigating emotions is hard when you're a demon.or: That weird fic where Luci probably could use some therapy for his issues.
Relationships: Elfo/Luci, Luci/Kissy
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	Candy Crush

Kissy is different than the other elves. Luci can’t exactly put his finger on what it is about her - other than the fact that she’s admittedly a very attractive woman by any standards. There’s more to it than that though. He knows when he first sees her. There’s a feeling in the air, an electric vibration. Elfo is standing beside him, quivering with frustration and dismay and Luci leans into the moment, seizes it in his hot little hands in a way that Elfo would never have done.

He’s smooth as silk as he slinks up to the door, all shadows and dark purpose and Kissy’s eyes are drawn to him immediately. He drinks in her attention - and Elfo’s small noises are the thing that really makes it. He can kill two birds with one stone this way. Seduce Elfo’s ex and get under the annoying little bastard’s skin at the same time. It’s the perfect plan.

He doesn’t expect much more than that. Truth be told, he’s never had a steady relationship before. Demons aren’t exactly good at anything long term. That’s never bothered him before, especially when dealing with dating choices like a certain Stacy Ann LeBlat. It’s a wonder that he’s even in the dating pool at all after nightmares like that.

Kissy is nothing like Stacy Ann. More importantly, she’s nothing like _Elfo_. 

Luci had this image built up in his head of what elves were, based almost entirely on his dealings with Elfo. So far, almost every elf he’d met had checked several of the same expected boxes. Small, annoying. Pathetic.

The biggest difference he could tell was honestly that they were all kind of assholes of a different variety. Elfo could be a passive-aggressive little prick sometimes, but Luci never got the sense that there was any malice behind it. He genuinely wanted to do good, he _needed_ to do good things and he was inevitably upset when he failed at his own unrealistic expectations.

These elves aren’t that though. Sure they’re pushovers who couldn’t hold even the mildest amounts of liquor, but they’re also so self-serving. They’re probably the most self-centered race he’d ever met, and he’d grown up around _demons_. Elves are out for number one. Luci understands that. He isn’t sure where Elfo had gotten his wires crossed so badly, that he expects anything more from the world.

Kissy is different too. She’s curious about him. He’s never had an elf so curious to know more about him -

_Well, Elfo maybe, but they’ve established that he’s not actually an elf so it doesn’t even count_

-She asks him questions. She seems invested in his answers. 

In Hell he is a nobody, as much as he’s loathe to admit it, and he’s always having to suck up to someone in order to keep from somehow sinking even lower. He can’t even be _awful_ in the right ways to get himself higher in the ranks. He’s a demon who fails at being bad. Here in the mortal realm though, he’s suitably awful, even if he’s not up to the standards of someone like Dagmar.

He’s glad that Kissy sees how much of a bad boy he is. He can brag about his exploits and it makes him feel good, better. Important. Most of what he talks about is the things he gets up to with Bean and Elfo, but mostly Elfo, since she knows the elf and has a frame of reference. She smiles and nods and points out little details that she finds interesting and he puffs up.

After a few days in her presence, he feels taller. He almost struts as he walks through Elf Alley to fetch her for their next date. They’ve been on five dates so far, one each day, and it’s already more times than he’s been out with anyone before, even Stacy Ann - he’d figured out she was trouble by the second date and it took two more to extricate himself from her clutches. 

It’s going great.

Elfo is pissed too and that’s the icing on the cake. He hadn’t realized how neurotic Elfo was over his ex before. Impressive considering he’s never talked about her - not even when Luci had been teasing him about a made-up girlfriend. 

Considering Elfo actually did have a girlfriend - from what he gathered from Kissy, the two of them hadn’t formally broken up until their return to Elfwood, the trip that had led to Elfo’s subsequent death… - it baffled Luci that Elfo hadn’t at least decided to brag about his exploits with a _real_ girl. A princess, no less.

Oh yeah. She’s also a princess. Another detail that he hadn’t gleaned from Elfo in all the time they’ve known each other. So Elfo’s current obsession with princesses apparently goes back way further than Luci previously though. It’s just that he got lucky with the last one. Talk about aiming for the stars!

Kissy smiles whenever he asks her about her past relationship with Elfo. He shouldn’t compare himself to the elf, of course. He knows he’s better in just about every way possible, but still, he does want the reassurance of his superiority and he gets it every time. He’s different. He’s more _bad_. He’s darker. He’s a fucking _demon_ so he damn well should be. 

Knowing this, he struts as he passes Elfo in the hallways of the castle and smirks at the sound of Elfo’s pathetic whining in his general direction. He doesn’t care. He’s _winning_.

Then it all changes somehow. 

He’s not sure when it happens but Kissy’s attention is doing more than feeding into his ego. It actually makes him feel better. He’s important. He’s acknowledged. It isn’t until he hooks up with her that he realizes how much he’s been missing this since their return from Hell.

And he deserves the attention. He did a good thing in Hell - or a bad thing, by demon standards - and given all that he’s sacrificed, he feels like he deserves something in return. He’d been expecting it from Elfo, honestly. That Elfo would be grateful to him. Sure Elfo doesn’t know what Luci’s given up just to save his miserable life, but after that reaction back in the boat, that casual disregard of Luci’s efforts, he has no plans to divulge anything to Elfo now. He’ll probably just get it thrown back in his face. And then he’ll want to kill Elfo and if he actually succeeds he’ll undo everything he’s done and his sacrifices will be for nothing.

Instead, he’s been dealing with it in silence.

He had no idea just how miserable it was making him until he has Kissy to lean on. She actually _does_ listen to him. It makes him… feel things. More and more he wants to pour out his not-soul to her. He thinks it might make him feel better if he does because whenever they talk and he tells her about his evil deeds of the day or even complains about the problems he’d experienced with Stacy Ann in the past - mostly in the form of ranting about her for several minutes before playing up how he’d callously dumped her - he feels lighter.

He finds himself looking forward to their time together. 

And then it occurs to him… is this what _love_ is? He’s never experienced love, but it sounds like it might be in line with the things he’s read about. This sense of comfort he gets in her presence is invaluable. It feels good to be able to talk about himself and his feelings.

Even if he does usually wind up talking about Elfo, sooner or later, he always still manages to come away from things with a bit less gloom around him. While that might have been bad from a demonic perspective, it does a hell of a lot more to make his now-mortal existence tolerable.

-

He’s in the middle of complaining about something Elfo’s done, some stupid annoying thing because Elfo has all these stupid annoying habits and Luci is hyper-aware of them, when she interrupts him and he realizes he’s been saying the same things, over and over. That this is the same old complaint, over and over. It occurs to him that Elfo is the source of most of his problems and he’s not sure what to do about it.

“Why does he bother you so much?” she asks, and if it were anyone else, he would have laughed it off and told her to mind her own damn business, but it’s Kissy, so he pauses and he thinks for a few seconds.

There’s a lot of reasons. He’s stupid looking. He smells like candy. He’s cheerful and that grates on Luci’s nerves. He gives hugs at unexpected moments and he needs to learn to keep his grubby little hands to himself. He thinks Luci is his friend and demons don’t have friends. Even Bean isn’t his friend when it comes down to it! So many reasons. They’re all good reasons too, as far as Luci is concerned.

But also…

_His weird green face gets stuck in Luci’s mind sometimes and it makes him angry. There are times when he gets a whiff of something sweet and remembers that time in Hansel and Gretel’s house where he pulled Elfo from the fire and buried his nose in Elfo’s neck to inhale the smell of slightly singed candy. When Elfo smiles at him and says they’re friends, it makes him want to squirm away so he doesn’t have to see that stupid adoring look on his face. His hugs are surprisingly good, even when Luci doesn’t want them and decides to retaliate by punching Elfo or smacking him with his tail..._

And all of those things have gotten a lot less now, after Hell. He should be happy because he hates all of those things so much… but he’s not. He’s not happy.

He wants things to go back to the way they were. 

It makes him pause. It makes his chest ache as the words come out of his mouth because he’s never thought about it before. Things have changed and he’s not ready to deal with it. Bean is preoccupied with her weird dreams about her mom and what she wants to change about her life now that the kingdom is back to normal - or as normal as Dreamland ever gets anyway. And Elfo… he could always count on Elfo to be there, a persistent do-gooding thorn in his side… and now… he’s not.

He doesn’t care about Luci anymore. The realization makes something twist in Luci and he’s angry. He tells Kissy that too.

She’s sympathetic. She rests a hand on his shoulder and she smiles and he feels a sensation inside that he thinks definitely has to be love. He’s so in love that it hurts. He kisses her and loses himself in the sensations.

-

Elfo’s angry and Luci rubs it in a little. He hadn’t expected quite this much reaction. Elfo keeps warning him away from Kissy, saying that she’s only with Luci because she wants Elfo to be jealous. Luci thinks that’s ridiculous because why would she care what Elfo thinks anyway? Elfo sucks. Elfo is a terrible friend and would be a terrible boyfriend so why would anyone as amazing as Kissy give a shit about him when she had someone like Luci?

Elfo sidles up to them as they dance. Luci can feel the fury coming off of him in waves. It feels… satisfying. Elfo is so petty that Luci might almost have approved if it wasn’t also annoying as hell. 

“May I cut in?” Elfo asks and Luci lets him. So what if he dances with Kissy? It’s not going to change anything. It just makes him look that much more desperate.

But he doesn’t want to dance with Kissy. He wants to dance with Luci. 

That throws a wrench in things.

Maybe Elfo’s trying to make Kissy jealous by dancing with Luci, but honestly, Luci can’t imagine how that would even work. It’s not like Luci would have any interest in getting together with Elfo, so the perceived threat is toothless. Kissy just smiles, like she knows how ridiculous this all is. The twinkle in her eyes reassures him and he takes Elfo up on his stupid dance offer.

For a tiny loser, Elfo is a good dancer. The two of them have a rhythm together that falls into place easily. It’s because they know each other so well after all their time in Bean’s company. Luci has enough pride to not try and dance badly just to make Elfo look stupid and he thinks Elfo must be thinking the same thing. 

Elfo warns him the entire time, berating him over Kissy like their relationship is something that Luci needs to be worried about. Sure, Elfo might have had to worry in a similar situation, but Elfo is not _Luci_. Luci is awesome and Elfo sucks.

He bristles a little, even so. Elfo’s words get under his skin but just a little. Elfo dips him and his claws dig into the sleeve of Elfo’s shirt because the move gives him a momentary sense of vertigo, hanging in Elfo’s arms in a position that could easily send him falling. But Elfo doesn’t let him fall, no matter how much of a jealous little prick he’s being at the moment. 

“Lift?” Luci says, as their dance draws to a close. He’s not sure why he says it, but there’s something in Elfo’s eyes, just a momentary flicker, like even angry he can appreciate the offer. He’s got no reason to trust Luci either, especially since they’ve been fighting, but he doesn’t hesitate. He throws himself into Luci’s demonically-strong grip and Luci lifts him high.

He’s breathing a bit hard when he puts Elfo down, he’s not sure why. Maybe being mortal now has sapped some of his previous strength. Maybe he actually _needs_ air or something stupid like that. It would be far too inconvenient and Luci hopes it’s not the case, but he can’t explain it otherwise, the sensation of being winded, the way his limbs tremble a little as soon as Elfo is out of his arms and set solidly on the floor. They’re standing just far enough apart that Luci could reach out and touch him, but he’s a world away again. Luci can see the moment that anger falls back over Elfo and he has a sudden sick sensation in his stomach. Elfo’s _really_ jealous. Whether it was Kissy’s intent or not, the elf is soaked in envy. If it weren’t too obvious, given the natural tone of Elfo’s skin, Luci would have said he was green with it.

Instead of making the comment, he just turns away and leaves Elfo to stew as he rejoins Kissy. She takes his hand as he draws near and the two walk away.

-

Luci can’t actually remember the last time he bought someone a gift. Or gave someone anything, at all, really. He isn’t one for selflessness. Demons took, they didn’t give. So this is kind of a big deal for him. 

It takes him a while to make a decision on _what_ to get Kissy. She’s not a bad girl, not the kind of person he expects he’d ever fall for, but she’s still a bit more dangerous than the average elf. The only elf he’s run into who might have been a bit more dangerous is actually Elfo, but he doesn’t really count.

The throwing stars are shiny - a plus for catching the eye - and functional, which is something he thinks a woman like Kissy can appreciate. And they’re deadly, which is a bonus for anyone, especially in this crazy kingdom. You never knew when you’d need to unexpectedly stab someone to avoid being murdered or worse.

He knows she’s going to love them.

Elfo knows too. Luci can tell when he opens the candy box and Elfo takes in what he’s seeing. He was mocking Luci only a few seconds before but now his laughter turns to anger and it’s more reaction that Luci was expecting. In all the time they’ve known each other, even when they disagreed - even when they _fought_ \- Elfo has never threatened him like this. He’s always been helpless in the face of any mistreatment Luci has thrown his way. 

As Elfo presses the flower to his throat - and Luci has a moment to think about how this should be ridiculous, how much more effective it would be if Elfo used the damn broken bottle which was at least sharp - Luci feels something under his fur, a prickling sensation. His non-heart is pounding in his chest. He locks his eyes with Elfo’s and he sees the fury and underneath it the helplessness. 

Jealous. Elfo’s so jealous that he can’t see straight and Luci got that from him. Luci has taken his anger and distilled it down into this raw, pure emotional reaction and Luci can’t help but both revel in it and also feel a gut-twisting sensation of… _something_. He can’t identify it. He holds onto it for a few seconds and it’s like drinking poison. It feels the same in his throat. Potent.

Then Kissy shows up and bursts the tense bubble between them in a way Luci could never have expected.

He thought she liked him. He read something into her words, in her interest, that apparently isn’t there. The world falls out from under him as he stands there being let down as gently as possible. 

In hindsight, he can’t blame her. She needs more than what she’s getting and she’s self-aware enough that she knows that her taste in men is ultimately harmful to her. From that point of view, her actions are perfectly justified. 

But holy fuck, do they hurt. Luci sags where he stands. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do now, without her. Who will he talk to? Who will he spend time with? It’s not like his so-called friends - what they call themselves, not what he calls them - are here for him right now. He wants to scream, or cry. He wants to sink into the floor and past it… until he finds himself back in Hell. He should never have left in the first place…

Elfo’s glee is the worst thing about it too. So he thinks. Then Elfo’s joy over his misfortune turns to pity because the asshole doesn’t even have the decency to engage in schadenfreude properly. Luci doesn’t need pity. He doesn’t _want_ pity. He especially doesn’t want it from Elfo.

His mind stops short of that next thought. That is… what it was that he _does_ want from Elfo. He tells himself it’s because there’s nothing he wants from Elfo.

Well… maybe some genuine appreciation. And attention. And Elfo telling him that he’s grateful for everything Luci’s done for him and all he’s sacrificed. If he wants anything, it’s that.

But he definitely doesn’t want this hug.

Even when he leans into it, his ears drooping as he feels the warmth of Elfo’s arms around him, his eyes closing as he’s surrounded by the faint sweet smell of candy, he still hates it. Hates Elfo.

“You sweet bastard.” It’s less an insult and more of a lament. Either way, it’s all he has, now.

-

Maybe some people can be friends with their exes. It sounds like a complete lie, something patently impossible, but Luci has seen enough of the strangeness of the world that he can at least acknowledge that it’s a possibility. Maybe some people can do it. Saints, perhaps.

But not Luci.

Whenever he sees Kissy, it’s like twisting a knife. He doesn’t want to say he avoids her - that’s the coward’s way - but he does. He should at least be angry with her, then he could let that anger carry him to doing petty things as revenge, like spreading vicious rumours about her - not about her promiscuity, since that’s both factual and not considered a negative by anyone - but other rumours, like that she has implants or dyes her hair or is a serial killer or something. He feels that he would be totally justified in doing so.

But he doesn’t. He doesn’t because just thinking about her makes his insides shrivel a little and he wants to curl up in a ball instead.

He feels more alone now than he ever has. He can’t cry. He _won’t_ cry. There is only one thing in this miserable mortal realm that has ever brought him to that particular depth, but it’s not an ex-girlfriend.

He avoids her for too many reasons to list, but mostly because she makes him think about things that he doesn’t want to think about. It takes him a while to let that settle in his chest, even as he buries himself even deeper in his distance and denial. It’s a bad breakup, sure, but Luci’s had bad breakups before and this is different.

Even with him actively trying, it’s impossible to completely avoid her, especially now that he owns the bar. He knows that a confrontation is inevitable when he’s put himself out there in such a prominent position. He knows it. It doesn’t mean he’s looking forward to when it happens.

-

She sidles up to the counter one day, out of the blue. She’s not been in before, other than a couple of instances where she was decent enough to at least keep a safe distance between the two of them. Not so, this time. She comes up to him and sits on his stool in front of his counter and looks at him with an expression that he doesn’t understand.

He tries to avoid her eyes, “What do you want?” He says, then realizes that unless he wants to venture into the possibly dangerous realms of talking about their failed relationship, he needs to be more specific. “-to drink. Tell me what you want to drink.”

“Luci.” She says and he winces. He drapes his towel over his shoulder, ready to make an undignified escape when she says, softly, “Wait.”

Luci doesn’t know why, but he stops. He waits. He draws a few deep breaths that make him shake a little and he finally dares to look up at her. He’s not sure himself what he wants to hear from Kissy, but he knows, deep deep down, that he’s waiting for something.

She looks him over and he knows that he looks like shit. He’s a successful business owner. He has a bar that he owns, a ton of money, the closest thing to respect that a ‘talking cat’ can expect in this town. He has his own place too… even if he shares it with Elfo.

_And Elfo is still a pain in his ass. In close quarters he’s more and more aware of it. He thinks sometimes that he was crazy to trick Elfo into moving in with him to begin with. He chalks it up to a fit of temporary insanity._

Kissy takes a small breath, her lips pursing, and he can see a determination in her eyes that he doesn’t understand. Then she finally says something. 

“I’m sorry Luci.” She says, and his gut twists. He’s not sure if her apology makes him happy or not. Honestly, it’s something he thinks he should have gotten a long time ago, so he wouldn’t have spent all this time feeling like he was the one who’d been used and then dumped. It’s too little, too late.

Isn’t it?

Unaware of his internal conflict, she keeps speaking, and Luci expects her to cram her apology down his throat and make him accept it. Instead, she just clarifies. “I wasn’t honest with you about my motivations regarding our relationship and I hurt you. For that, I’m really sorry. I know you’re not obligated to forgive me, and maybe you shouldn’t.”

_Damn right he isn’t obligated._ Luci feels heat at the corner of his eyes and his paws tremble. He settles them on the bar to steady them. He has no intention to forgive. Not for this humiliation. For making him feel all these things. He can’t forgive that. He won’t be used, damn it.

_He won’t be treated like he’s nothing. He can’t be expected to just stand there and take it_

But Kissy’s apology doesn’t stop there and it should. She’s still talking. He has an urge to cover up his ears. There’s a fear inside him that if he doesn’t, that he’ll wind up hearing something that might _actually_ make him forgive her against his will. Or he might even _understand_ her position or something. The thought makes him gag. He won’t do it.

“It was wrong of me to lie to you about why I was interested in you… But Luci,” she says and he tenses, expecting another surge of anger at whatever is about to follow those words. “You weren’t being honest with _me_ either.”

He hears roaring in his ears at that. 

For a moment he stares at her, uncomprehending. He thinks he may have blacked out for a second. When he snaps back to awareness, her hand is on top of his paw and he’s face down on the counter, claws digging into the wood. His voice is muffled as he doesn’t lift his head. “What do you mean?” he asks.

What he should have said is “Well duh, I’m a demon. Demons _lie_. That’s what we do!”

Or, “Yeah, I was totally lying, I just wanted to get back at Elfo and I succeeded!”

Or he should have just laughed.

But he does none of those things and the words he does say hang on the air, small and pathetic. He doesn’t want an answer, but he’d asked the question and he knew that Kissy was going to tell him whether he wanted to hear it or not. Maybe he’ll get lucky and the bar would collapse in around them before she opens her mouth...

Her voice is gentle, far too gentle, and he gets the feeling she pities him. If he had a soul it would have shriveled up well before this. He doesn’t have one, so he just slumps there on his bar like a sad drunk. “Luci.” She says, soft but admonishing. “We both know that I was never the one you really wanted.”

It doesn’t click. The words wash over him and he lays there unmoving for a few long seconds, counting his not-heartbeats. They’re pounding in his ears.

_What could she possibly-_

But he knows. He knows the answer to that. It’s been there all this time. 

On every date, with every gift. Every moment of his life since he got back has always led him back to the same place. Every feeling. Every thought. Even when he was doing something else, it was inescapable.

He’s never seen it before, but it’s because he hasn’t wanted to. He’s shielded himself in a comfortable cloak of deliberate ignorance, blocked it all out because he can’t handle it. It was preferable to think he was in love with Kissy and that he was suffering from a broken heart over her rejection.

In reality, he was broken before they even met. Kissy had just been a callous sort-of rebound from a relationship he’d never even actually been in.

She’s right. It’s never been about her. Their relationship was built on a lie. A beautiful lie he’d forced himself to believe because the truth had been too crushing to face.

Luci shakes. He burns. He falls. 

He’s helpless.

Kissy holds him up through it. He thinks he would have pushed her away just a minute or two ago, but right now she’s his lifeline. He holds on tight.

“How did you know?” He says, at last, when he has a voice to speak with. It’s small and broken, but at least he found it somewhere in the hollow husk of his stupid mortal body.

She’s seen something in him that he hadn’t seen in himself and it’s frankly a little frightening. He’s always thought he knew himself. Now he realizes he knows nothing. 

Her hand rubs small circles against his back, it forces him to feel his own body again and gradually his shaking stops. He still hurts. He hurts in a way that goes past his physical form and right down to his not-soul. He doesn’t think it will ever stop. But at least he’s fully back in his own body again, where it’s familiar.

Kissy stays close for a moment longer, her hand still braced against him. It’s a steadying point, reminding him that he’s here right now. As he raises his head a little, looking up at her, he has no idea what his expression is, but she gives him a small, sad smile. “Believe me, Luci. It’s more obvious than you think it is. There’s a lot of stupid people in the world who never see things until they’re too obvious to ignore… but I’m not one of them.

“There was almost never any point when we were together where he didn’t come up. I think you were just too close to see it.” She lets out a sigh. “Maybe we could have had more, I guess. You really are fascinating, Luci, and it has nothing to do with your ‘bad boy’ act. I think you’re a lot deeper than you give yourself credit for. But, Luci, I’m selfish too, in my own way. I can’t play second fiddle in someone’s heart… and especially not to my ex, of all people.”

Her hand brushes his cheek, a tender gesture that means something different now. “For what it’s worth… I think you should do something about it.”

“Something.” He tries to scoff, but it comes out powerless and humourless. “What? Should I ask him out? Move in with him and get all stupid and mushy and domestic? Try to make him jealous?” He’s seen how well all those things work. Elfo is either completely uninterested or he’s the stupidest little bastard to ever walk the planet. Or both.

Kissy smiles at that, pressing her fingers to her lips. “I don’t know. But I don’t think it’s as hopeless as you seem to think. I mean… don’t forget that I dated Elfo before you did.”

“I’m trying to forget it.” Luci says blandly, but a little of his familiar sarcasm creeps back into his voice. He hasn’t totally lost it and become a useless sad sack.

“That’s the Luci I know and like.” she says and she sighs. “Seriously, Luci. I didn’t come here to drop a truth bomb on you… but even if we didn’t work out together… I do still care. I’m not a woman who needs to hate people for failed relationships. Some things aren’t meant to happen… but if you don’t at least try, you’ll never know if you missed out on something good.”

She’s not talking about the two of them, Luci knows. He swallows and nods slowly, even though he’s not sure if he agrees.

Kissy doesn’t stay for a drink and Luci is grateful. He’s also grateful that it’s so early in the day that he can close down the bar for the evening and have to chase out only the bare minimum of people. He needs to be alone.

He needs… 

He doesn’t know what he needs.

Worse. He does know. He’s just afraid to do anything about it.

  
  


-

  
  
  


He’s not sure why he comes back to this place. It’s been a long time, at least by the standards of their crazy lives, but he recognizes the spot as his feet bring him near. It’s the place he sat with Kissy, on several of their dates. It overlooks the waterfall. If he were anyone else, he would have said it was a romantic spot. It’s one of the few places in Dreamland that doesn’t either have a view of the plague pit or fall downwind of it. 

It brings back memories and he’s not sure he wants them.

He sits down in the grass, his tail twitching slowly. He hears a light footfall behind him but he doesn’t turn. He only flicks his ear at the sound. He knows who it is before she speaks.

“Luci,” Kissy says, stopping a respectful distance. Once again, it’s been a long while since they saw each other. Once again, he’s found himself not running into her much, but he thinks maybe she’s the one who’s doing it now, avoiding him to spare him another embarrassing breakdown. He knows why she’s here, but he’s not sure how he feels about it. “I heard the news.”

Luci draws a deep, deep breath. “Yeah.” 

He quivers. He’s been trying not to think of it too much because he feels like he might fall apart. There’s a sensation under his skin, like he’s too big to fit in his own body anymore. His heart keeps trying to leap out of him. It’s frightening.

It’s _exhilarating_. 

“I’m happy for you.” She doesn’t sit, she doesn’t add more. Luci wonders if she was hoping for forgiveness when she showed up, but her words don’t seem to indicate that. It doesn’t matter if she wanted it or not though.

She doesn’t need to ask for it. Not now.

Luci looks out over the waterfall as her steps recede into the distance. He waits a moment longer. His words are less for her than they are a confession to the world, to himself. Just two words that mean everything has changed.

“Me too.” He says.

-

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
